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dS: DNF Vecchio

There are no Inuit in this story, although there is ice.

Posted on 2007.10.12 at 09:01
where am I: Crappy, Slushy, Icy, Pawtucket.
How I feel about it all: crappyGrr. Arg. Ow.
Tags: , ,
On my way home from work (currently a commute of two whole miles) I get caught in the snarl of kids and buses and parents and cars doing the Monday Morning Go to School Ritual. The street is so congested it's hard to figure out how to get through without hitting anyone or anyone hitting me. I turn onto my street, only to discover that can't park in my driveway because there are already two cars there, so I drive around the block, get caught in the Ritual Traffic again, and finally park on the roadside across from the house in a place that may or may not be too close to a fire hydrant. I figure I'll definitely have to move it (the car, not the fire hydrant), but right now I have no place else to park it. I get out of the car and start toward the house, and subsequently proceed to slip on some ice and go flying back-first onto the sidewalk. My cell phone also goes crashing to the ground; the impact causes the poor phone and its battery to part ways.

Fortunately for supine-on-the-icy-sidewalk me, the guy from next door (who also happens to be a member of the RI version of the Vecchio family) happens to be outside. I don't know whether he sees me fall or if he just hears my bloodcurdling yell when I do (I'm surprised the whole Eastern seaboard didn't hear me). Either way, he comes running over, almost falls himself, but in the end manages to help me up. I assure him I'm fine, thank him profusely, and do the logical thing: kick off my clogs (Note: Birkenstocks do NOT function well on icy surfaces) and way cool tie-dye socks, pick up my unjustly abused cell phone (and its estranged battery) and walk hobble barefoot up the steps to the porch (which is cold but much safer than staying the course with the clogs). I almost slip again at least once, even in bare feet. And dudes. Naked feet + ice = EVIL PAIN. It hurts.

I make it to the front door without further injury, and what do you know, it's locked. This wouldn't have been a problem at all if I hadn't gone and LEFT MY HOUSE KEY IN THE CAR, which is sitting WAY OVER THERE, possibly too close to the fire hydrant. I'm getting a little hysterical at this juncture, and more that a little pissed off at stupid Murphy and his Law and why the heck did he ever go into politics anyway because he bloody well SUCKS at legislation.

I'm way too chicken to go back to the car for my key, so instead I step onto the (sparse, slushy, half-frozen) grass next to the house and make for the back door (which is actually the side door, but now is definitely not the time or place to kvetch about improper architectural terms of location). The Door, whatever its placement, is also locked, but aha! I know how to open it with my debit card. Which? Is in my wallet. In the car, which is still playing chicken with the fire hydrant. This is the time I step past 'a little hysterical' and rush headlong into 'insane panicky overreacting'. As I frantically look around for something else to use, I'm literally on the verge of sobbing. Over the verge, even, in a kind of snowball effect where stupid frustrating stuff keeps happening over and over again. It's a looped nightmare; it's like Groundhog Day. It's like DRIVING IN TORONTO ALL OVER AGAIN.

About now Murphy decides to cut me a little slack and I remember I still have my work badge on. This will work!. I manage to open the door with that even though it seemed to take forever to get the latch to trip and I was sure someone would see me do it and call the cops. I get in without incident, thankfully, and climb the steps, wincing. After flinging myself into my room and cranking the electric heater I leave a phone message and an email in order to (at the very last minute) cancel an appointment I'd promised to keep, thereby inconveniencing a whole bunch of people. Go me.

My fingers are still a little sore but not nearly as bad as they were; there's a scrape on my right elbow that hurts but at least isn't bleeding. My left knee is a little achy but improving, and my cell phone seems to have suffered no permanent damage (and has been reunited with its battery).
Needless to say I'm not in the best of moods. I need to take a nap. I'll do that, but I'm also in the mood to spam LJ. You have been warned. If I do get the nap, though, I should be able to finish or almost-finish my Seekrit Santa story.

The end. For the moment. Unless my car is parked too close to the aforementioned hydrant.

Comments:


spuffyduds
spuffyduds at 2007-12-10 15:40 (UTC) ()
Argh. Vast suckage, poor you.
try to catch the deluge in a paper cup
primroseburrows at 2007-12-10 15:49 (UTC) ()
There is a little bag of hot cocoa from Ottawa1 calling me from the other room. I would love to succumb to its chocolatey siren song but that would mean budging from my chair. I'm pretty sure I don't have enough budging energy.


1Ottawa does not actually grow the cocoa; I just bought the packet of mix there (although if global warming continues unchecked, who knows? It may be a great new business opportunity for them).

Edited at 2007-12-10 15:51 (UTC)
the day you left was just my beginning
patchfire at 2007-12-10 16:32 (UTC) ()
Wah. *Hugs*

Pls to be sending cold weather here. High for today is at least twenty degrees higher than the maximum allowable December temperature.
try to catch the deluge in a paper cup
primroseburrows at 2007-12-11 22:46 (UTC) ()
What on earth could Georgia have done in a former life that would cause all this stuff (and, what or whom would Georgia have been in a former life?)?
the day you left was just my beginning
patchfire at 2007-12-11 23:20 (UTC) ()
We did start as a penal colony.

How're you feeling after your fall? I got to thinking about it yesterday and meant to come back to leave the following:

Also, pls to be seeing your chiropractor, yes?
I tongued Hugh Dillon once.
callumvixen at 2007-12-10 16:59 (UTC) ()
GAH!!! bare feet on ice! *shudders*

have a nap, and nurse your scrapes and bruises. glad you didnt bang your head! thats always my worst fear when i slip.
try to catch the deluge in a paper cup
primroseburrows at 2007-12-11 22:48 (UTC) ()
I actually slept almost like a normal person last night, so I'm better (and at work again, whee!). Banging my head would have not been A Good Thing. My brain is scrambled enough.
Icepixie
icepixie at 2007-12-10 17:46 (UTC) ()
Brrrrr. *hugs and electric blankets*

I hatehatehate falling on my ass on ice. I've done it twice, both times at college, and I'm pretty sure I actually broke my tailbone the first time. It was painful to sit for several months, anyway.

Bring on the global warming, I say!
try to catch the deluge in a paper cup
primroseburrows at 2007-12-11 22:50 (UTC) ()
and I'm pretty sure I actually broke my tailbone the first time.

I never broke my tailbone, but i_am_a_hannah managed to dislocate it for me by deciding to be born facing up instead of down. I eventually forgave her. :)
Icepixie
icepixie at 2007-12-12 23:34 (UTC) ()
Urk!

So never having kids...
try to catch the deluge in a paper cup
primroseburrows at 2007-12-13 13:57 (UTC) ()
It sounds worse than it was. I didn't even feel it, actually, until later.
Icepixie
icepixie at 2007-12-15 05:09 (UTC) ()
Oh, please tell me you got some good drugs out of that.
try to catch the deluge in a paper cup
primroseburrows at 2007-12-15 12:12 (UTC) ()
Nah, but I got teh good daughter. :D
Cats. Not to be trusted.
catwalksalone at 2007-12-10 17:56 (UTC) ()
Ack! That's just evil. *pets you* I hope you're feeling a little better.
try to catch the deluge in a paper cup
primroseburrows at 2007-12-11 22:53 (UTC) ()
I'm feeling much better, although I have an owie on my elbow that seems to be invisible but still manages to hurt when I lean on it. I'm really lucky that I didn't break something (although those six weeks medical leave would be nice).
AuK
aukestrel at 2007-12-10 19:02 (UTC) ()
I shouldn't be laughing.

Yet I am.
try to catch the deluge in a paper cup
primroseburrows at 2007-12-11 22:51 (UTC) ()
Oh, go ahead; I'm a New Englander, I can take it.
Tarnish notte the majesty of my TOWER of HATS
meresy at 2007-12-10 19:07 (UTC) ()
Aw, boo. :(
try to catch the deluge in a paper cup
primroseburrows at 2007-12-11 22:55 (UTC) ()
The ice is gone today and it's actually not really cold. New England weather is like that.
Aingeal
aingeal8c at 2007-12-10 21:23 (UTC) ()
*hugs*

That's a sucky day.
try to catch the deluge in a paper cup
primroseburrows at 2007-12-11 22:59 (UTC) ()
Today's better. No bodily injury (so far).
I Am Canadian
dragonflymuse at 2007-12-10 23:45 (UTC) ()
::pets::
(Anonymous) at 2007-12-11 01:03 (UTC) ()
OMG I have an overwhelming urge to throw a blanket around you and give you a big hug. ;) And yet at the same time, laugh. My bad. Blame it on your most excellent description of the event.

Hope your fingers, elbow, knee and other injuries heal up quickly.
Smelly
topaz7 at 2007-12-11 01:05 (UTC) ()
Crap, that was me. Who ate my cookies???
try to catch the deluge in a paper cup
primroseburrows at 2007-12-11 23:00 (UTC) ()
I dunno. Were they chocolate chip?
Smelly
topaz7 at 2007-12-12 01:27 (UTC) ()
Glad you can still crack a joke, after your ordeal. ;)
try to catch the deluge in a paper cup
primroseburrows at 2007-12-12 16:20 (UTC) ()
Nothing like a bit of levity to help me forget that my back fecking HURTS.

*dashes off to Google for local chiropractors and/or comedy clubs*
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