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dS: frasersadness

whoever said life is fair was lying. the same goes for lightning never striking twice.

Posted on 2009.12.12 at 21:53
How I feel about it all: crushedcrushed
Tags: , ,
This afternoon I found Natalie on the bathroom floor. I don't know if she was having a seizure or a heart attack or what, but one thing she wasn't doing was breathing. I'm pretty sure she wasn't choking on anything because I swept her mouth and didn't find anything, and she didn't even gag. I rushed her out the door and into the car, but she was gone before we reached the emergency vet. I think she was gone before I got her out the door.

This wasn't the sad but somehow peaceful scene like what happened with Stormy--this was sudden and unexpected and there was no time to say goodbye. Up to then Nat had been fine-- eating and sleeping and meowing and being herself. She may have been a tiny bit quieter today, but I'm just guessing, who knows? The vet at the emergency place said they couldn't tell what happened, but it could have been anything from a seizure to heart failure. It was over in seconds, and I have no idea how or why and I probably never will. I could have asked for an autopsy, but what would be the point? I keep feeling guilty even though I know I'm being stupid because she was loved and fed and petted and cared for.

And now I've lost two cats in less than a week. WTF, God?

I can't remember a time when there wasn't a cat in my life.

Comments:


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akamine_chan
akamine_chan at 2009-12-13 03:09 (UTC) ()
Oh, Prim, I'm so, so sorry. That's so unfair - losing both of them so close together and to not have time to say goodbye...that has to be the worst way to lose a beloved pet.

*hugs you tightly*

And you have no reason to feel guilty. Natalie was loved and petted and cared for. She had a good life; you can't let yourself doubt that.

Edited at 2009-12-13 03:11 (UTC)
try to catch the deluge in a paper cup
primroseburrows at 2009-12-13 03:20 (UTC) ()
Everything I can find on the internet about sudden death in cats points to some kind of stroke or heart failure. It's possible she could have choked on something very small, but I'm thinking the heart failure is more likely.

Right now I'm still in shock, I think.


*hugs back*
exbex
exbex at 2009-12-13 03:15 (UTC) ()
I'm so sorry, Prim. Your cats were really lucky to have you as their human though.
try to catch the deluge in a paper cup
primroseburrows at 2009-12-13 03:23 (UTC) ()
Thanks, dear. They were pretty awesome themselves. And I doubt I'll go TOO long without a kitty--it's lonely around here right now.
Tarnish notte the majesty of my TOWER of HATS
meresy at 2009-12-13 03:16 (UTC) ()
Oh nooo. That's terrible, but there wasn't anything you might have done different. Just very sad. *hugs*
try to catch the deluge in a paper cup
primroseburrows at 2009-12-13 03:22 (UTC) ()
She was my niece's cat to begin with, which makes me feel even worse. I know it's not my fault, but I guess it's human to feel like it is. *clings*
meandering
effervescent at 2009-12-13 03:24 (UTC) ()
Oh, sweetheart, I am so sorry. :( I can't imagine - losing one is hard enough, let alone two. ♥
try to catch the deluge in a paper cup
primroseburrows at 2009-12-13 03:27 (UTC) ()
Thanks. I wasn't going to open this post up for comments, but I'm glad I did--your kind thoughts are so very welcome. *hugs*
HurrySundown
hurry_sundown at 2009-12-13 03:33 (UTC) ()
Oh geez, Prim. I'm so sorry. *hugs*
try to catch the deluge in a paper cup
primroseburrows at 2009-12-13 03:58 (UTC) ()
*hugs back*
Tara
elementalv at 2009-12-13 03:34 (UTC) ()
I am so, so sorry to hear that. It's always horrible to lose a pet, but I can't begin to imagine what it was like to lose two within a week. You have my deepest sympathy.

Edited at 2009-12-13 03:35 (UTC)
try to catch the deluge in a paper cup
primroseburrows at 2009-12-13 04:02 (UTC) ()
I'm still reeling, seriously. My kids are all, don't get another cat, but after a fashion, I think I will. I haven't been without one since, hmmm. I'm not sure if I ever have. I'm hoping one will find me. *g*
sam80853
sam80853 at 2009-12-13 03:56 (UTC) ()
Oh no, Prim. ::hugs::... That is seriously fucked, excuse my French.

I hope you will find comfort in knowing that she was well-taken care off. That she had an awesome life with you.

::HUGS::
try to catch the deluge in a paper cup
primroseburrows at 2009-12-13 04:00 (UTC) ()
She had a couple of years with me, and before that was very well-loved by my niece and my sister. She'll be missed by all of us.

I still have your story, and will likely get it back to you Monday. Tomorrow is Juliana's first birthday party (she turns one year old on Christmas, where did the time go?), but Monday afternoon's wide open. *hugs*

Also? Your icon is beautiful.
fenlings
fenlings at 2009-12-13 04:19 (UTC) ()
I'm so sorry. Losing them both in a week does seem extreme. But who knows, maybe there is some reason they chose to go now, maybe your life is about to change in some other way. ::hugs::
try to catch the deluge in a paper cup
primroseburrows at 2009-12-13 04:25 (UTC) ()
maybe your life is about to change in some other way.

You know, I thought about that. Maybe there's a sea change coming. I hope it's something good. *hugs you tight*


On an un-sad, entirely unrelated note--in case you didn't get to see it--I recced you over here. :)
Sonia
mrs_laugh_track at 2009-12-13 04:36 (UTC) ()
Oh honey I'm so sorry.
try to catch the deluge in a paper cup
primroseburrows at 2009-12-13 04:59 (UTC) ()
Me too. And thanks. *hugs*
ruthless1
ruthless1 at 2009-12-13 04:42 (UTC) ()
I am so sorry to hear this. That is just so much to have to bear in just one week.
try to catch the deluge in a paper cup
primroseburrows at 2009-12-13 05:02 (UTC) ()
Tomorrow is Juliana's first birthday party. At least that's a good thing. :)
jenn_unplugged
jenn_unplugged at 2009-12-13 04:46 (UTC) ()
How horrible! I'm so sorry. :-(
try to catch the deluge in a paper cup
primroseburrows at 2009-12-13 05:03 (UTC) ()
Yeah, life divebombs sometimes. Thanks, honey. :)
Junesrose
junesrose at 2009-12-13 04:49 (UTC) ()
Oh hun, I'm so sorry to hear about your cats. This is an awful thing. Know that I'm thinking of you and sending my love.

*hugs*
try to catch the deluge in a paper cup
primroseburrows at 2009-12-13 05:01 (UTC) ()
*clings* Thanks, my dear.
Isis
isiscolo at 2009-12-13 04:52 (UTC) ()
I'm so sorry for your loss. And don't feel guilty; it is not your fault.
try to catch the deluge in a paper cup
primroseburrows at 2009-12-13 05:01 (UTC) ()
It's weird, because, you're right, and I know it's not my fault, but still, it's such a freaking double-whammy.

Also, your icon makes me smile. :)

Edited at 2009-12-13 05:01 (UTC)
omphale
omphale23 at 2009-12-13 06:59 (UTC) ()
Oh, sweetie. I'm so, so sorry.
try to catch the deluge in a paper cup
primroseburrows at 2009-12-13 11:32 (UTC) ()
*cuddles* Thank you, lovey.
Lissa
starflowers at 2009-12-13 08:09 (UTC) ()
That's awful, I'm so so sorry. *hugs* But if I know anything about cats, I know that they've got a way of finding you when they need you, so I'm sure it won't be too long until you've got another cat in your life.

I'm also pretty sure that I don't know anyone who would have given a lucky cat the best and most loved life possible, so you don't need to feel guilty about that.
try to catch the deluge in a paper cup
primroseburrows at 2009-12-13 11:36 (UTC) ()
I figure another kitty will find me eventually, because for me not to have one puts the universe all off-kilter and stuff. *hugs back*
Cats. Not to be trusted.
catwalksalone at 2009-12-13 08:20 (UTC) ()
Oh, Prim, I am so very sorry for your loss. Please don't feel guilty, you have enough to handle already. Sometimes horrible things just happen no matter how we wish they wouldn't or how we wish we could have stopped them. *hugs and hugs*
try to catch the deluge in a paper cup
primroseburrows at 2009-12-13 11:39 (UTC) ()
Yeah, I honestly don't think I could have prevented Natalie from dying. The whole thing is just so ridiculously weird. Life, however, can stop being stupid any time now. *stomps foot*
tx_cronopio
tx_cronopio at 2009-12-13 12:37 (UTC) ()
oh, sweetie -- my heart is aching for you this morning.
try to catch the deluge in a paper cup
primroseburrows at 2009-12-13 21:04 (UTC) ()
Thanks, lovey. *clings*
Luzula
luzula at 2009-12-13 12:41 (UTC) ()
Oh, that's so sad, to lose both of them at the same time. *hugs*

Life should give you a break now.
try to catch the deluge in a paper cup
primroseburrows at 2009-12-13 12:47 (UTC) ()
This is what I'm hoping. :)
Amy H. Sturgis
eldritchhobbit at 2009-12-13 14:39 (UTC) ()
I am so, so sorry. *huge hugs* You're in my thoughts.
try to catch the deluge in a paper cup
primroseburrows at 2009-12-14 15:59 (UTC) ()
Thank you so much. *hugs back* (also, could you LJ-message or email me your address? I want to send you a card but I can't find the envelope from the one you sent)
peacey at 2009-12-13 15:14 (UTC) ()
*hugs* Just *hugs*.
try to catch the deluge in a paper cup
primroseburrows at 2009-12-14 16:01 (UTC) ()
*clings* Thank you, lovey. *snuggles*
Magpie
sistermagpie at 2009-12-13 17:17 (UTC) ()
I'm so sorry to hear that.:-(
Sidhefire
sidhefire at 2009-12-13 17:22 (UTC) ()
Oh no... Sending lots of sympathy and love your way.
try to catch the deluge in a paper cup
primroseburrows at 2009-12-14 16:00 (UTC) ()
Thanks, dear. *hugs*
newleaf31
newleaf31 at 2009-12-13 17:22 (UTC) ()
........................... :''''-(

Just... *biggest hug ever*.
try to catch the deluge in a paper cup
primroseburrows at 2009-12-14 16:00 (UTC) ()
*snuggles* Hopefully it's time for life to start not sucking now.
(Deleted comment)
try to catch the deluge in a paper cup
primroseburrows at 2009-12-14 15:56 (UTC) ()
I'm definitely trying to do just that. :)
Aingeal
aingeal8c at 2009-12-13 21:23 (UTC) ()
Oh I am so sorry *hugs* *hugs* *hugs*

You have no reason to feel guilty. But I understand the feeling.

try to catch the deluge in a paper cup
primroseburrows at 2009-12-14 16:02 (UTC) ()
After a good talking-to, the guilt part is beginning to go away, fortunately. *hugs tight*
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