try to catch the deluge in a paper cup (primroseburrows) wrote,
try to catch the deluge in a paper cup

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and all the things that's been and done, the battle's won, the good and bad in everyone

Late night Shipping Rules Meme. crikkita started it. ;)

Remember, they're MY shipping rules. YMMV, of course:

1. Draco is not a fourteen-year-old girl who loves Avril Levigne. People who write him this way are getting him confused with themselves.

2. Ron is straight. This means no Ron/Harry, Ron/Seamus, Ron/Draco (which is just wrong in general. See Rule #5.), or Ron/anyone with a penis. Ron likes girls (even *gasp!* ones who aren't Hermione).

3. Dumbledore does not have sex. Ever. Neither does Hagrid or Dobby. Well, okay, maybe Dobby, but I don't want to know anything about it.

4. Draco can be paired with others, but only because he's in denial about his Great And T00by Loff for Harry.

5. Draco HATES Ron, and the idea of a sexual/romantic relationship sends him running for a nausea-easing potion. The same goes for Draco/Hermione, for the most part, although I think that if things had been different, Hermione and Draco would have been fast friends.

6. Lucius never raped Draco, Vernon never raped Harry. Lucius/Vernon is oddly intriguing, however.

7. There's every reason to believe that the Malfoys love each other like any other family. cedarlibrarian is proving this in her wonderful Morality for Beautiful Slytherins.

8. Remus/Sirius is this close to being canon.

9. Ginny/Harry is fanfic's version of Sominex, or watching people play golf.

10. Harry/Snape is fine if teh sex is toned down. Great dynamic, but I still don't want to think of Snape like that. *platonically adores him* Also, Alan Rickman is NOT Snape. Please don't write about Snape's voice being ohsosexxxy. Snape's voice should be like sandpaper, not velvet. And if Harry loves him it's with all his flaws. Please don't give me narrative about "Snape's toned body", because, well, it isn't. Even Alan Rickman's body isn't toned fergodssake.

And...Ranty Extra:

11. Slytherin House is as noble and worthy of House Pride as any of the others. Voldemort's followers are often Slyths because he plays on their naturally ambitious natures. Besides, not all Slyths are Death Eater Wannabes (Draco certainly isn't, but that's another rant altogether). And hello, Slytherin House existed for centuries before Tom Riddle was even born, and at least one Slytherin went on to become Headmaster of Hogwarts, the position which the esteemed and IMO hella overrated Albus Dumbledore now holds. Peter Pettigrew was a Gryffindor, remember. And, Harry himself would have been placed in Slytherin if he hadn't put up a fuss.
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