I was looking for a debit card number (mine, and don't ask where my card is. I don't know either.), and I found this bit of dialogue that I wrote months ago. It was intended to, and may or may not become the first seeds of a humourfic.
The scenario is that Remus is living in the Muggle world (as a truck driver in Marietta, GA, it says here. There's no course of action but to blame patchfire). Sirius must find him at some random SF/Fantasy convention (I have no idea why, but I think I did, once).
Fan at Con (twentysomething guy in Sandman T-shirt): Excuse me, Mr. Gaiman?
Sirius: Pardon me, what did you just call me?
Fan: *confused* Um. Mr. Gaiman?
Sirius: *a bit indignant* Look, my sexuality isn't a bloody *title*, now is it?
Fan: I'm sorry. I think I've mistaken you for someone else. You're not Neil Gaiman?
Sirius: No, I'm afraid not. *starts to walk away*
Fan: *steps in front of him* Are you sure? You look just like him.
Sirius: Yes, quite sure. I should know who I am, after all, as well as who I am NOT. *begins to think this bloke belongs in the Muggle equivalent of the wing of St. Mungo's reserved for the Incurably Insane, and also feeling very sorry for this Gayman person, whoever he is. Especially with a name like that*
Fan: I'm very sorry, Mr...
Sirius: Black. Si-*starts to say name, remembers he's wanted by Muggles as well*
Fan:*interrupting, looks at what S is wearing* Black? Oh, that *is* rich. *laughs* Surely you're not serious?
Sirius: *sputter* No! I'm NOT Sirius. Not at all.
Fan: I knew it all the time! A word of advice, Mr. Gaiman: if you're trying to be anonymous, you might not want to pick "Black" for an alias. I mean, considering the way you dress. *produces book and pen* So, would you sign this for me?
Sirius: *completely confused, signs*
Why, yes, I am completely barking. Why do you ask?
Also, I had the good fortune to run into blithedale this evening. heinous_bitca, I gave her my new number. Call me and we can all do lunch or somesuch. :)
Also #2: I'm reading this. Charles de Lint is the Shizznit.