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DT: come reap

it was worth it, feeling abandoned; makes one hardened, but what has happened to love?

Posted on 2005.30.11 at 20:16
Soundtrack: Rufus Wainwright - Go or Go Ahead
from cluegirl. And yes, it's important.

A lot has been said about how to prevent rape.

Women should learn self-defence. Women should lock themselves in their houses after dark. Women shouldn't have long hair and women shouldn't wear short skirts. Women shouldn't leave drinks unattended. Fuck, they shouldn't dare to get drunk at all.

Um, no. Here's the deal:

if a woman is drunk, don't rape her.
if a woman is walking alone at night, don't rape her.
if a women is drugged and unconscious, don't rape her.
if a woman is wearing a short skirt, don't rape her.
if a woman is jogging in a park at 5 am, don't rape her.
if a woman looks like your ex-girlfriend you're still hung up on, don't rape her.
if a woman is asleep in her bed, don't rape her.
if a woman is asleep in your bed, don't rape her.
if a woman is doing her laundry, don't rape her.
if a woman is in a coma, don't rape her.
if a woman changes her mind in the middle of or about a particular activity, don't rape her.
if a woman has repeatedly refused a certain activity, don't rape her.
if a woman is not yet a woman, but a child, don't rape her.
if your girlfriend or wife is not in the mood, don't rape her.
if your step-daughter is watching tv, don't rape her.
if you break into a house and find a woman there, don't rape her.
if your friend thinks it's okay to rape someone, tell him it's not, and that he's not your friend.
if your "friend" tells you he raped someone, report him to the police.
if your frat-brother or another guy at the party tells you there's an unconscious woman upstairs and it's your turn, don't rape her, call the police and tell the guy he's a rapist.

tell your sons, godsons, nephews, grandsons, sons of friends that it's NOT okay to rape someone.

don't tell your women friends how to be safe and avoid rape.
don't imply that she could have avoided it if she'd only done/not done x.
don't imply that it's in any way her fault.
don't let silence imply agreement when someone tells you he "got some" with the drunk girl.
don't perpetuate a culture that tells you that you have no control over or responsibility for your actions. You can, too, help yourself.

If you agree, repost it. It's that important.

And, gods damn it, acknowledge that it happens to men, too.


crikkita at 2005-12-01 04:08 (UTC) ()


peacey at 2005-12-01 12:20 (UTC) ()
Beautiful. I agree with everything except "don't tell your women friends how to be safe and avoid rape". While there is no way to explain how to "avoid rape" because the victim is not the perpetrator and has no say in whether or not the crime is committed, the woman (or man!) can take steps to make it less likely to happen, and mostly this just involves using your head. Until we live in a place called "Utopia," there will be rape. There always has been, there always will be and unfortunately, women have to understand that the man they're with may be capable of it, so they should try not to put themselves in situations that would leave them vulnerable. Trust me on this one. As a victim of this crime, I don't blame myself for it, but I sure as hell was extremely stupid. The man was at a house party and was a friend of a friend. Had I simply assumed that the man I'd just met was capable of such a thing, and not, "Well, 'Janet' knows him, he must be okay" and "Wow, he's gorgeous! Sure, I'll give him a ride home," then I could've avoided this. So. Do be cautious, do be safe. Don't hide away and live sheltered. Just use your head.
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