try to catch the deluge in a paper cup (primroseburrows) wrote,
try to catch the deluge in a paper cup

From maggiesox:

Baseball As Foreplay, or Beats Me How I Avoided Throwing Up Whilst Reading This

Example of text, for the linkaphobes:

What You Need:

* A laid-back attitude: be prepared to get a goofy souvenir, indulge in ballpark delicacies like hot dogs and nachos and just forget your to-do list
* A favorite player: pick one and yell like crazy (in unison) whenever he steps foot out of the dugout
* Old baseball glove in case a foul ball comes your way, cushy seats, baseball caps, sunscreen and sunglasses.
* Tickets. If it’s a major league game, get them ahead of time. For most minor league games, you can just walk up and buy. Or you can check out the county recreation league for free
* A time to leave: say, the 7th Inning Stretch or mutually pleasing point to slide on home for your own special game.

First of all, how sexist can you get? Women can be and are serious fans. *points repeatedly and furiously at self* And WTF, the article's from the K-Y Jelly people? *hits self on head with bat*

maggiesox has problems with the second item. I find the last one worse. Nobody's getting me to leave at the seventh inning stretch, and if my date wants to, um. Probably no second date. Loser. That one'll be crossed off the list faster than you can say "Sweet Caroline".

The authors of this piece of drivel need to be tied to the Pesky Pole and flogged with Jason Varitek's dirty undershirt, may it do ya.

Okay, rant over. I'm going to bed now. I swore I'd be sleeping by three, but alas, earwax I'm still here. Going now.
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