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DT: come reap
Posted on 2006.16.10 at 01:38
where am I: Chart room on the dreaded Kent unit, Butler Hospital
How I feel about it all: coldcold
Soundtrack: Ventilation somehow making it cold in here.
Tags: , ,
I'm still at work. I took a voluntary freeze-in because it's double time and I get paid for two shifts to work one, which consists of paperwork, the occasional med, an hour of safety checks, and sitting here playing with the PC. I figure that most nights I go to bed at oh-dark-thirty anyway, and if I can stay up until 3 a.m. for free I can stay up until 7:30 for double the money I usually get for doing much more work.

So. Entertain me? Write me a drabble, tell me a joke, tell me a story or a poem. Tell me your favourite song or show or play or movie or book, and why. Ask me a question. Send me a screenshot of your desktop or a picture of something or someone: your dog or the last movie you saw or your cousing Bob from Peoria. Anything or anyone. I need help staying awake boredom-free, y'all.

In return, I'll do this meme (gacked from my lovely wife patchfire), which may or may not make your week. Probably the second thing.

1. How tall are you barefoot?

5'3 3/4".

2. Have you ever smoked meth?


3. Do you own a gun?


4. Who's your best friend?

songdog, patchfire, and several LJ-less people.

5. Do you get nervous before "meeting the parents"?

Honey, I AM the parents.

6. What do you think of hot dogs?

I agree with Charlie Brown. They taste better with a ball game in front of them. Which, parenthetically, is pretty much the only time I'll eat them.

7. What's your favorite Christmas song?

O Holy Night.

8. What do you prefer to drink in the morning?

Coffee, cream, one sugar.

9. Can you do push ups?

I rather doubt it.

10. Is your bathroom clean?


11. What's your favorite piece of jewelry?

My dragon ring, but I have to clean it before I wear it again. It looks awful. Also, my turquoise-coloured #5 Earring. It's just one earring, and it's a turquoise coloured "5". I occasionally can find it.

12. Do you like painkillers?

I would if they didn't want to make me throw up. Actually, I can take opiates in very small doses. (ONE Tylenol#3 or maybe a Vicodin. One.)

13. What is your secret weapon to lure in the opposite sex?

I agree with patchfire This is an awfully heterocentric question, isn't it?

14. Do you own a knife?

Dude. I have a whole drawerful. Also forks, spoons, and chopsticks.

15. Do you have A.D.D.?

Yes. Officially. Also some form of dyscalculia.

16. Middle Name?


17. Name 3 thoughts at this exact moment?

-It's cold in here
-I wonder if the tikkatakka of the keyboard is bothering the other nurse.
-I wish I could play some music.

18. Name the last 3 things you have bought:
- Cat food
- Socks
- A candy bar

19. Name 3 drinks you regularly drink:
-Mike's Hard Lime
-Mambo Smoothies from The Garden Grille

20. What time did you wake up today?

1:50 p.m. I have weird circadian rhythms. I went to bed at something like at 5 a.m.

22. Current worry?

Paying bills after I figure out their location.

23. Current hate?

My house being dirty.

24. Favorite place to be?

Home, oddly.

25. Least favorite place to be?

Driving a car with no radio.

26. Where would you like to go?

Germany, Vancouver, Washington, D.C., Cape Breton, Toronto, Boston, Maine, Britain, Michigan, Ireland, Alberta, Australia, Atlanta, Block Island, Tewksbury, New Hampshire, Vietnam, Scandinavia, and a lot more I can't think of at the moment.

27. Do you own slippers?

No, dammit, and I should.

28. What shirt are you wearing?
Black long-sleeved T, black skirt with yellow flowers, low boots with practically flat heels.

29. Do you burn or tan?

Both. Burn first, then tan, although I'm not usually out in the sun long enough to get to the tan stage.

30. Favorite color(s)?

Black and green.

31. Would you be a pirate?

No. I hate boats.

32. Last time you had an alcoholic drink?

Saturday night. Yay Mike's Lime!

33. What songs do you sing in the shower?

Whatever I've been listening to recently.

34. What did you fear was going to get you at night as a child?

The maple tree outside of my house. I AM NOT MAKING THIS UP. You can even ask songdog. I had weird fears.

35. What's in your pockets right now?

I don't have any.

36. Last thing that made you laugh?

Something someone at work said, of which I now have no recollection whatsoever.

Best sheets you had as a child?

Kliban Cats!

38. Worst injury you've ever had?

I had bladder surgery when I was two and a half.

40. How many TVs do you have in your house?

Only one that actually works, and it isn't plugged in. ETA: It is actually plugged in at the moment, because i_am_a_hannah was watching endless episodes of "King of Queens." She was bored. I offered Men With Brooms. She declined. Her loss, I guess.

41. Who is your loudest friend?

Karen. The other one.

42. Who is your most silent friend?

Linda, probably.

43. Does someone have a crush on you?

If someone does, they're not telling me.

44. There apparently is no 44. At least not on patchfire's version.

45. What is your favorite book?

Book, singular? The Talisman by Stephen King and Peter Straub.

46. What is your favorite candy?

Homemade Toffee Nut Crunch

47. What song do/did you want played at your wedding?

"The Wedding Song" by Paul Stookey. Although he wasn't actually at the wedding; someone else sang it. *g* If I ever were to get married again (which I won't), It would definitely have to be Monkberry Moon Delight

48. What song do you want played at your funeral?

Captain Fantastic and the Brown Dirt Cowboy, in its entirety. And most likely its sequel. *loves*

49. What were you doing 12 AM last night?

Reading some fic or whatnot.

50. What was the first thing you thought of when you woke up?

That I had to get up.


malnpudl at 2006-10-16 07:05 (UTC) ()
From reading your meme responses... you and I have a lot in common. I'd have a hard time doing this meme without looking like I'd copied a number of your answers.

Hi, sis. *g*

I am dull of wit tonight. *ponders* Would you like some filthy limericks?
try to catch the deluge in a paper cup
primroseburrows at 2006-10-16 07:48 (UTC) ()
*high-fives *

Filty limericks? Cool.
malnpudl at 2006-10-16 07:56 (UTC) ()
Courtesy of Isaac Asimov, then:

There was a young lady from China
Who strung fiddle strings 'crost her vagina
With the proper size cocks
What was sex became Bach's
Toccata and Fugue in D Minor

Which is my favorite limerick ever.

And then there's this trilogy, which I learned from my ex, and he may or may not have penned himself (he was clever enough that it could be his):

There was a young fellow named Block
Who was born with a two-headed cock
When he fondled the thing
It would stand up and sing
The Antiphonal Chorus by Bach

There was a young lady from Natchez
Who chanced to be born with two snatches
She often said, "Shit!
I would give either tit
For a man with equipment that matches!"

Now whether these two ever met
Has not been reported as yet
But it would be diverting
To see him inserting
His cock as it played a duet

try to catch the deluge in a paper cup
primroseburrows at 2006-10-16 08:00 (UTC) ()
I've never heard these! Very funny, aye. My mum would love them--she's the queen of the dirty joke. :)
isiscolo at 2006-10-16 14:03 (UTC) ()
These are fabulous, and I haven't heard of them at all! But here's a well-known one:

There was a young man from Racine
Who invented a fucking machine
Concave or convex
It would suit either sex
And jerk off with itself in between.
omphale23 at 2006-10-16 07:07 (UTC) ()
Here you go: you can spend a few minutes poking holes and laughing at my horrible grammar.

Ray's got three and a half hours left of his shift. He's going a little stir-crazy.

Ray has always hated the graveyard shift. Even the name is creepy.

Yes, fine, he's sometimes up until four in the morning anyway (and it's not because of the triple espresso he picks up on the way home, no matter what Fraser says, because he's also learned that correlation is not causation, a statement that comes in handy more than you'd expect) but it's different when he has to be awake. That's not any fun. There's no option for middle-of-the night sex when he's at work.

And he sucks at minesweeper. Those little bomb things have it *in* for him, he's sure. They move around and wait until he's sure he's going to win, and then they pounce. They get together, and they say, Hey, Ray's getting a little too cocky, so let's all make him feel like a big loser. Ready? Go! Little red x's everywhere.

And Ray falls for it every time. He'd quit and play cards, solitaire or something, but Ante chewed up the four of hearts. Plus, the maple leaves on his deck (deck, with an *E*, thank you very much) remind him of the sex he's not having.

He used to keep silly putty in his desk just for nights like this. But somebody cleaned out his drawers ("This could be a choking hazard, Ray, and you wouldn't want to be responsible for endangering the lives of the good citizens of Chicago.") and now he's stuck. Bored.

This sucks. He looks at the phone. It would be mean to call home right now. Not at all nice. He should just wait for someone to call with a problem. Then he can do some actual work.

The phone's not ringing.

Ray doesn't really have a good reason to call and check in. He's just bored. And tired. And maybe a little lonely. He's fully capable of entertaining himself, though.

Still nothing. Maybe the phone is broken. Maybe people are trying to call, but they're just getting a busy signal. Ray could be saving their lives by checking to ensure that his phone is in working order.

He picks up the receiver. Dials 9. Gets a dial tone. Nope, it's working. He doesn't need to wake Fraser up. One of them should get some rest.

He's got three more hours of this. He's out of silly putty. He's one card short of a deck. His computer is laughing at him.

Fraser's off duty tomorrow. He can sleep in.

Ray dials the phone.
try to catch the deluge in a paper cup
primroseburrows at 2006-10-16 07:40 (UTC) ()
Those little bomb things have it *in* for him, he's sure. They move around and wait until he's sure he's going to win, and then they pounce

I feel your PAIN, Ray, I really do. I can't play minesweeper; I can't make the logical connections.

And Fraser wouldn't mind if Ray woke him, although he may make it sound like he does (which, of course, consists of making it seem like he's pretending not to mind, when of course he really doesn't...it's one of those loop thingies that Ray's probably used to). "No really, Ray, it's not a problem. I have to get up in three hours and twenty-seven minutes, and I shouldn't be sleeping too deeply." Of course, it's Saturday, and the only reason Fraser has to be up in three hours and twenty-seven minutes is because Ray will be home in three hours and fifty-two minutes and he is NOT going to be sleeping when that happens.

Thanks, it's lovely!
sam80853 at 2006-10-16 07:34 (UTC) ()
My desktop looks like this. It can keep me occupied for quite some time.

Last movie I watched "Lucky Number Slevin" - very clever. I didn't know what's going on for the longest time that's always good. Bonus: Peter Outerbridge and Dmitry Chepovetsky, my lovely boys from "ReGenesis".

I'm currently reading Philip Pullman's "His Dark Materials" and I really do love it.

"Ray. Ray! RAY!"


"I'm truly sorry, Ray but it appeared you fell asleep during your working time."

"Aw, Frase. I'm here all night. Give me a break."

"But Ray, people may be in need of your help."

"Good people sleep at night, Frase."

"That may be true, Ray but it's common knowledge that most felonies are committed at night. Therefore ...


"Yes, Ray?"

"Tell me, you bought me some coffee."

"Of course, Ray."

"God ... I love ya, Frase!"

"And I you, Ray."

try to catch the deluge in a paper cup
primroseburrows at 2006-10-16 07:52 (UTC) ()
His Dark Materials is one of my favourite stories ever. I used to have a HDM icon. :)


"Yes, Ray?"

"Tell me, you bought me some coffee."

"Of course, Ray."

Fraser's coffee is probably better than the stuff they have around here. Chicago is loaded with really good all-night coffeeshops, I'm sure. *g*

And I've decided that if Fraser and I ever had a conversation we'd either put people to sleep or have them banging their heads against the wall in frustrated boredom. We'd most likely just spout off one bit of useless trivia after another. *g*

the day you left was just my beginning
patchfire at 2006-10-16 12:55 (UTC) ()
So what you're saying is that you ARE the people your parents warned you about?

I always wanted to be the person that people warned other people about, y'know?

Today Jacob is going around going "Houseshoe? Houseshoe? THere's feet on mine," which amuses me. "Mine" = his sleeper, apparently.
try to catch the deluge in a paper cup
primroseburrows at 2006-10-16 13:17 (UTC) ()
Well, I'm the one my kids bring their boy/girlfriends to meet. I don't think my parents warned me about other people's parents though. Er?

Houseshoe! It's a great word.
the day you left was just my beginning
patchfire at 2006-10-16 13:26 (UTC) ()
It was just the wording that reminded of it. Or something.

We went shoe shopping for Jacob on Friday and he thought he'd gone to heaven or something. Shoe! Shoe! Shoe!
isiscolo at 2006-10-16 13:59 (UTC) ()
We are the same height!
try to catch the deluge in a paper cup
primroseburrows at 2006-10-16 18:20 (UTC) ()
We could start a community! fivefourish
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