Woe. Angst. Gnashing of teeth.
Tell me, someone, WWFD??!!
By way of isiscolo, et. al.:
Sum up your former/current fandoms in a few sentences, as if they were human beings/very convincing sockpuppets on your flist. Then let others guess "who" you're writing to.
1. I met you while I was terribly depressed and heartbroken. I became lost in you as a way of avoidance and hibernation. You were exactly what I needed at the time, and I'll always thank you for that. I'll always be grateful that I found you just when I needed your grand, sweeping charm. The weird thing is, I fell out of love with you even faster than I fell in. I eventually became un-depressed, I guess, and besides, you started to get a little too delusional for me. Or maybe a lot too delusional. I admit that a big reason was that I found someone else, and left you in the dust. I should be embarrassed about this fact, but I'm really not. I still appreciate where you came from, although the spectacle you made of yourself makes me cringe to this day. You started out so beautiful and idealistic, what the hell happened?
2. I had a dance card and you were on it. Your name was jotted down, offhand, somewhere near the bottom. What little I knew about you I got from second-hand hearsay. I didn't take up with you because of some passionate epiphany, but simply because you suddenly became available and I was bored. And wow. You bowled me over so quickly I was hardly aware of it. You stole my heart with our first conversation because you never pretended to be anyone but yourself. You're warm and wild and unconventional. You mask your bone-deep sweetness with layers of wit and clever comebacks. I want to peel you like an onion. Most of the time I believe everything you tell me, because it's obvious you believe it yourself. Even the tall tales. Even the bald-faced lies. When we're out together, you don't mind if I dance with someone else as long as I remember who I came in with. And anyway, you know everyone; the club we frequent isn't nearly as popular as the shinier, fancier one down the street. It's a small crowd, but boy, do they know a whole lot of dances. And because I do remember who I came in with, I always come back to you for the last one, every single time. Because what we got ain't just a flash in the pan, buster, this one's a keeper. And still we dance.
3. I'll always love you. Even when I'm not paying attention, not showering you with praises, not even looking in your direction for huge chunks of time, don't ever doubt me. You're like a patchwork quilt; you're all at once immature, loving, combative, annoying, creative, conceited, noble, deceitful, petty, compassionate, and smug. I love your pockets. I love your sprawl and your diversity. You've touched and changed my life in ways you probably never imagined. Or intended. I don't think I'm in love with you anymore; it's been a while since I was. Even so, please, please believe me when I say that I'll most likely love you for the rest of my life, because the gifts you've given me are priceless.
4. You were my first true love. I can't imagine a world without you in it. You showed me wonders; introduced me to places and people I never knew existed. You helped me learn that I wasn't the only strange bird in the flock. The first time I saw you, you told me a story from somewhere in the middle of the long, sweeping curve of your life. I wasn't sure what you were saying, but the way you said it made me want more, more, and more still. So you told me another one, another disconnected part of the whole. I had no idea what your history was, or where you were going. I only knew that I would follow you to the finish. Sometimes neither of us was sure if you had the strength or the support to finish the run. I shouldn't have worried. I guess I forgot about your dad's courage and determination. I'm really glad to have stuck with you to the end. I think of you often, with the warm affection that can only come from an old flame. I once thought you were perfect. I don't anymore, and that's okay. Better than okay. Your flaws somehow make you even more endearing.
5. You're different from all the others. We're different together. I don't do the same sorts of things with you that I do with them. It's not because I love you less; quite the opposite. It's because I love you so much that I don't have any desire to change you in any way. Some might think I'm either crazy or lying, because of how many times you've hurt me, and how much. You've literally brought me to hot tears, screaming and swearing and throwing things, more than once. I should want to change you, they say. I couldn't do it, because you wouldn't be you anymore. Your cold-steel bluntness is part of who you are. It's the honed metal edge that gives you that stark violent beauty I got lost in so long ago. And I do love your words. Your voice makes me shiver. I belong to you, always, ever, ad infinitum. I've never wanted to be without you, not even the times when I've hated you at least as much as I love you. I guess it's a given that I can't NOT love you. I think we're soulmates, as hokey as that sounds. I'm a different person today than I was before we met. I love you more than all the others. I can't help it, it's out of my hands.
6. I knew you and I would hit it off before I introduced myself to you. I was very happy with someone else, and I didn't think I wanted anyone else, so I procrastinated. A lot. Curiosity got the best of me, and eventually I couldn't put it off anymore. I introduced myself to you, we talked quite a bit, and damned if I wasn't right. We clicked instantly, what with our shared common interests and obsessions. You were funny and complex and cool. I felt like I'd fallen in love with my best friend. Things went very well for a long time, and my other lover didn't mind sharing, which was a plus. After a while you changed. You became disjointed and directionless. It didn't seem to bother you. I'm not sure you even noticed. It confused the hell out of me. I stuck by you for a long time after that, because I loved who you were, and I hoped you could be that again. No dice. It got worse. You became another person entirely, and I didn't like who that person was. Still, I got occasional glimpses of the smart, together, quick-witted person you were when we met, and I stayed, and hoped against hope. Then you hurt someone I loved very much. You'd tossed him around for a while, and I guess he couldn't take it anymore, and suddenly he was out of my life, and I didn't want anything to do with you anymore. You kept on, pretending there was still something inside worth loving. I couldn't see it anymore. I don't know what happened to you in the end. I could find out. I'm not sure I care enough to make the effort, which is sad, because I loved you. I think of the person you were a lot these days. I also think of our long-lost friend, and it makes me sad.
7. I met you through one of your neighbours. True fact. I'm trying to write true facts, in order to give an accurate description of you. I seem to be having trouble with it. I simply can't put you into words. Problem is, you're about as close to perfect as anyone I've ever seen, and that sounds ridiculous. Except it isnt, and I know it's true because I've done my research. Everyone who knows you loves you. I've asked around. You shine, is what you do. Everyone who knows you loves you, and you're not the least bit vain about it. I don't know why your entire family hasn't taken out a full page ad in the paper or put up a billboard announcing to the world that you belong to them, that they made you. And oh, did I mention how gorgeous you are? I'm not even going to try to describe that. It's not necessary, beause all anyone has to do is look at you. Even your colours match. So, since I can't use words to describe you, I'll just have to make it my job to squire you around and introduce you to everyone I know. I love you so very, very, very much, and I also respect the hell out of you, and I'm so fecking proud of you I could bust. It's my pleasure to see to it that you get all the glory you deserve.
8. I like you. I really had a blast when we dated a few years ago. I was never in love with you, but you were a good time and we had fun together. You were like a trip to the candy store. Some of the candy fizzes in your mouth. Some have chocolate in the middle. Great taste, pretty colours, all the kids are doing it. I just never had a desire to get to know you any better than what you showed to everyone else. I don't feel regret or sorrow or anything, it's just the way it is. You're a great date and you're very attractive, but I don't want to be your girlfriend.
9. I don't know you yet. I really, really want to. Like immediately. Like intimately. We've met, you know, briefly. I liked what I saw a lot. A great big giant lot. I have your number, I know where to find you. I've seen a few pictures of you. A few of them literally take my breath away. Why haven't I tried to get to know you better before? I really need to change this, because I have a feeling we could have something hot and gorgeous and fucking incredible. I know I'm going to be kicking myself for all the time I've wasted. I will be calling you, and soon. Very, very soon, you beautiful, beautiful thing. Guh. I get all sweaty from just thinking about what we could become. Holy shit.
Woah. It took a long time to think up all of that.
In other news, malnpudl! I got your package. I'm waiting until I'm awake before I even take it out of the box, I'm that sleepy. *hugs* Thank you so very, very much, darlin'.