try to catch the deluge in a paper cup (primroseburrows) wrote,
try to catch the deluge in a paper cup

A Rebuttal to HR 847

Whereas Pastafarianism, a religion of great significance to Americans and many other cultures and nationalities, is celebrated pretty much constantly by worshippers who have been Touched by His Noodly Appendage throughout the United States and the world;

Whereas there are countless Pastafarians in the United States, making The Flying Spaghetti Monster the Supreme Deity of A Whole Bunch of the American population;

Whereas there are a whole giant bunch more people throughout the world who revere the FSM, making Pastafarianism the coolest religion in the world and the religion of millions of geekdorks of the world population;

Whereas The FSM and his followers have contributed great and awesome stuff in every land and place touched by His Noodly Appendage

Whereas the United States, being founded as a constitutional republic in the traditions of western civilization, finds much in its history that points observers to complex carbohydrates;

Whereas on December 25 of each calendar year, American Christians observe Christmas, the holiday celebrating the birth of their savior, Jesus Christ, who is a good bud of the FSM;

Whereas for Pastafarians, Christmas is celebrated with a nice meal of whole-wheat lasagna (with plenty of gravy); and

Whereas many followers of the FSM throughout the United States and the rest of the world think it's a kickass idea to serve others: Now, therefore, be it

Resolved, That the House of Representatives--

(1) recognizes the Church of the Flying Spaghetti Monster as one of the great religions of the world;

(2) expresses continued support for the continued work of the FSM in the United States and worldwide;

(3) acknowledges the international religious and historical importance of a crusty loaf of garlic bread fresh out of the oven;

(4) acknowledges and supports the role played by a rich, hearty marinara in the founding of the United States and in the formation of a healthy meal plan;

(5) rejects bigotry and persecution directed against followers of His Noodly Appendage, both in the United States and worldwide; and

(6) expresses its deepest respect to Pastafarians in the United States and throughout the world.
Tags: fsm, i am a giantgiant dork, religion, us politics
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