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dS: frasersadness

whoever said life is fair was lying. the same goes for lightning never striking twice.

Posted on 2009.12.12 at 21:53
How I feel about it all: crushedcrushed
Tags: , ,
This afternoon I found Natalie on the bathroom floor. I don't know if she was having a seizure or a heart attack or what, but one thing she wasn't doing was breathing. I'm pretty sure she wasn't choking on anything because I swept her mouth and didn't find anything, and she didn't even gag. I rushed her out the door and into the car, but she was gone before we reached the emergency vet. I think she was gone before I got her out the door.

This wasn't the sad but somehow peaceful scene like what happened with Stormy--this was sudden and unexpected and there was no time to say goodbye. Up to then Nat had been fine-- eating and sleeping and meowing and being herself. She may have been a tiny bit quieter today, but I'm just guessing, who knows? The vet at the emergency place said they couldn't tell what happened, but it could have been anything from a seizure to heart failure. It was over in seconds, and I have no idea how or why and I probably never will. I could have asked for an autopsy, but what would be the point? I keep feeling guilty even though I know I'm being stupid because she was loved and fed and petted and cared for.

And now I've lost two cats in less than a week. WTF, God?

I can't remember a time when there wasn't a cat in my life.

Comments:


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Cats. Not to be trusted.
catwalksalone at 2009-12-13 08:20 (UTC) ()
Oh, Prim, I am so very sorry for your loss. Please don't feel guilty, you have enough to handle already. Sometimes horrible things just happen no matter how we wish they wouldn't or how we wish we could have stopped them. *hugs and hugs*
try to catch the deluge in a paper cup
primroseburrows at 2009-12-13 11:39 (UTC) ()
Yeah, I honestly don't think I could have prevented Natalie from dying. The whole thing is just so ridiculously weird. Life, however, can stop being stupid any time now. *stomps foot*
tx_cronopio
tx_cronopio at 2009-12-13 12:37 (UTC) ()
oh, sweetie -- my heart is aching for you this morning.
try to catch the deluge in a paper cup
primroseburrows at 2009-12-13 21:04 (UTC) ()
Thanks, lovey. *clings*
luzula at 2009-12-13 12:41 (UTC) ()
Oh, that's so sad, to lose both of them at the same time. *hugs*

Life should give you a break now.
try to catch the deluge in a paper cup
primroseburrows at 2009-12-13 12:47 (UTC) ()
This is what I'm hoping. :)
Amy H. Sturgis
eldritchhobbit at 2009-12-13 14:39 (UTC) ()
I am so, so sorry. *huge hugs* You're in my thoughts.
try to catch the deluge in a paper cup
primroseburrows at 2009-12-14 15:59 (UTC) ()
Thank you so much. *hugs back* (also, could you LJ-message or email me your address? I want to send you a card but I can't find the envelope from the one you sent)
peacey at 2009-12-13 15:14 (UTC) ()
*hugs* Just *hugs*.
try to catch the deluge in a paper cup
primroseburrows at 2009-12-14 16:01 (UTC) ()
*clings* Thank you, lovey. *snuggles*
Magpie
sistermagpie at 2009-12-13 17:17 (UTC) ()
I'm so sorry to hear that.:-(
Sidhefire
sidhefire at 2009-12-13 17:22 (UTC) ()
Oh no... Sending lots of sympathy and love your way.
try to catch the deluge in a paper cup
primroseburrows at 2009-12-14 16:00 (UTC) ()
Thanks, dear. *hugs*
newleaf31
newleaf31 at 2009-12-13 17:22 (UTC) ()
........................... :''''-(

Just... *biggest hug ever*.
try to catch the deluge in a paper cup
primroseburrows at 2009-12-14 16:00 (UTC) ()
*snuggles* Hopefully it's time for life to start not sucking now.
(Deleted comment)
try to catch the deluge in a paper cup
primroseburrows at 2009-12-14 15:56 (UTC) ()
I'm definitely trying to do just that. :)
Aingeal
aingeal8c at 2009-12-13 21:23 (UTC) ()
Oh I am so sorry *hugs* *hugs* *hugs*

You have no reason to feel guilty. But I understand the feeling.

try to catch the deluge in a paper cup
primroseburrows at 2009-12-14 16:02 (UTC) ()
After a good talking-to, the guilt part is beginning to go away, fortunately. *hugs tight*
Nevvererdovit
the_antichris at 2009-12-14 05:32 (UTC) ()
I'm so sorry. That's horrible. *hugs*
try to catch the deluge in a paper cup
primroseburrows at 2009-12-14 15:57 (UTC) ()
*hugs back* Life, right? I'm hoping for better stuff, now that the awful is out of the way.
Irina
irinaauthor at 2009-12-14 17:14 (UTC) ()
I'm so sorry for your loss.
try to catch the deluge in a paper cup
primroseburrows at 2009-12-14 18:44 (UTC) ()
Thank you. *hugs*
It was the best of times,it was the worst of times
mickeymvt at 2009-12-14 17:46 (UTC) ()
Oh god, no! That is so awful. I'm so sorry. *hugs*
suchthefangirl
suchthefangirl at 2009-12-15 07:02 (UTC) ()
(I know this was a few days ago, but I'm way behind again)

I don't have anything to say, I just wanted you to know that I am sending you my love and positive thoughts. It is a horrible thing to have happen. I had a similar thing happen with one of our dogs, and there is nothing that can make it better except time.

I am positive there was nothing you could have done to save her, and it sounds like she went quickly and painlessly. It's never an easy thing to loose a love one, but if they are going to go, going quickly and painlessly is best.

Much love and many hugs heading your way.
try to catch the deluge in a paper cup
primroseburrows at 2009-12-15 12:39 (UTC) ()
Aww, thanks, honey. *hugs* Yeah, she was pretty much gone when I found her, and I'd been home for hours, so I'm thinking it must have happened in seconds. The way she went was probably better for her, and the way Stormy went was better for us, because we got to say goodbye, but she had been ill for a while. There's really no good way to lose someone, though, but yeah, I'm glad it was quick.
Latter-day Jezebel
nmalfoy at 2009-12-17 05:42 (UTC) ()
Oh, honey, I am so, SO sorry... you did give her a wonderful life and it sounds like her end was at least quick.

I don't know why you've lost beloved family members like that, and so quickly, but maybe talking to your vet would help.

They're waiting for you, you know, and when the time is right, maybe another kitty will come into your life. They can't replace the ones you lost, of course, but there is joy out there. Time heals.

*huge hugs*
try to catch the deluge in a paper cup
primroseburrows at 2009-12-17 10:06 (UTC) ()
Yeah, I'm definitely waiting to get another kitty--I need time to let everything settle and it wouldn't be fair to just run out and get another one. If one finds me in the meantime, I'll know it was meant to be. :)

I don't think the two events were related. Stormy had end-stage emphysema and was obviously ill. Natalie had a little cough which the vet wasn't overconcerned with, and other than that she was perfectly healthy. In retrospect I wonder if the cough was cardiac-related.

*hugs tight*
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