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chalice
Posted on 2003.12.11 at 11:25
How I feel about it all: groggygroggy
Soundtrack: Silence
Hmm. Apparently the Catholic Bishops are trying to explain the Church's position on gay marriage.

Archbishop Sean O'Malley has this to say: "We have failed to perhaps articulate our doctrine clear enough," he said. "We want homosexuals to be part of the community, but we can't change the Ten Commandments for them."

Excuse me for being obtuse, Your Grace (is it Your Grace?), but how do the Ten Commandments relate to gay marriage?

Let's take a look:

I. Thou shalt have no other gods before me. Nope, no sign of taboo here.

II. Thou shalt not make unto thee any graven image. Still nope.


III. Thou shalt not take the name of the LORD thy God in vain. I could go into what this means and what it doesn't, but as for gay marriage, it's not applicable. Gay people aren't any more likely to take the Lord's name in vain than straight or bisexual people.


IV. Remember the sabbath day, to keep it holy. I personally know gay couples who attend church faithfully, every Sunday.


V. Honour thy father and thy mother. Gay people can do this even if they're married to each other. They can visit the inlaws, have dinner, watch a little telly. You know, just like everyone else.

VI. Thou shalt not kill. Studies show that married people live longer than single people. So gay marriage would increase the whole People Not Dying stats.

VII. Thou shalt not commit adultery. Now here's the problem. Apparently, Archbishop O'Malley says that this commandment is the one that forbids gay marriage. Well, the dictionary says otherwise. Adultery is a sexual relationship where at least one party is married to someone else. And even if you take the other popular definition, that adultery is sex outside of marriage, the solution is simple. Allow gay couples to marry, et voila! End of problem.


VIII. Thou shalt not steal. Nope. N/A


IX. Thou shalt not bear false witness against thy neighbour. I would think that if a couple wants to get married, they wouldn't want to lie and say they didn't. So, nope.


X. Thou shalt not covet any thing that is thy neighbour's. And, nope.


So you see, Your Grace, gay couples marrying isn't contradictory to the Ten Commandments at all. Yeah, I know, other places in your holy book are greyer, but. We're talking commandments here, 'cause you brought it up. So you don't have to have all these discussions after all. I just solved your problem.

You have a nice day, y'hear? Call me if you need anything else, like maybe help with that pesky rule that says women can't be priests.

Comments:


(Deleted comment)
try to catch the deluge in a paper cup
primroseburrows at 2003-11-12 13:05 (UTC) ()
The only female priest I've ever heard of is Sinead O'Connor (who's married now, actually *g*). The Church doesn't recognise her sect, and therefore don't recognise her as an actual priest.
JenJen
jlm1779 at 2003-11-12 10:29 (UTC) ()
Amen sister! It's a lot of malarky.
sugarblaster
_plasticine at 2003-11-12 11:12 (UTC) ()
tru dat, sista.
the day you left was just my beginning
patchfire at 2003-11-12 11:24 (UTC) ()
He's obviously counting on the people who don't bother to read their Bible. Which there are a lot of. If you ever want to have real fun, go around talking to a bunch of people who profess to be religious & conservative (Southern Baptists are good; the Methodists aren't quite as conservative, but still fun to ask) and then ask them how many of them have ever read the Bible. As in, all of it. Numbers are surprisingly low! If this book forms the basis of their faith upon which they claim to build their life, you'd think they could take time out from reading Ann Coulter and Tim LaHaye and Rick Warren to just read through the Bible once!

Even fewer have bothered to study the Bible beyond the most superficial level. Oh, they have 'Sunday School' and all that, but I'm talking true scholarship... not very many at all. *sigh*

*uses the OTP icon*
try to catch the deluge in a paper cup
primroseburrows at 2003-11-12 13:02 (UTC) ()
I've actually studied more of the Bible than a lot of Christians. Of course, I used to be one, but still.

I think people should read the Bible. And the Baghavad-Gita, and the Talmud, and the Koran, and the teachings of Buddha, and..and...and. What'll probably surprise folks is that all these works probably talk about peace a lot.

*waves Kurt/Jesus OTP banner*
the day you left was just my beginning
patchfire at 2003-11-12 13:09 (UTC) ()
Completely unrelated, but I have decided never to go anywhere without arnica again. Despite the difficulty getting some to dispense out. *g*

back to the other - Most 'religious teaching' seems to consist more of what someone else said that what the text really says. Kind of sad.
my life's so common it disappears
songdog at 2003-11-12 14:15 (UTC) ()
And there's that other pesky rule about priests marrying...despite which these unmarried priests feel completely qualified to "councel" people who are married, or are thinking about marrying(or hoping to someday be legally able to marry)how to believe and to behave regarding that which they never have, and never will experience for themselves.
Nec timeo Nec Sperno
muffytaj at 2003-11-12 18:33 (UTC) ()
What an idiot.

Total and utter twit.
One damn minute, Admiral.
trempnvt at 2003-11-13 02:25 (UTC) ()
(I always learned that the Christian version of the Ten Commandments turned the first two into one and split the last into two?)

Anyway, first of all, the seventh commandment is only talking about sex outside of marriage, and only for people who are already married. Which has nothing to do with gay sex, unless, of course, the guys in question are already married, and even then, since technically the violation is only for a guy sleeping with a married girl or a married girl sleeping with another guy, it's not applicable.

Second of all, yeah, because we all know that the Church would never change the Ten Commandments.
try to catch the deluge in a paper cup
primroseburrows at 2003-11-13 05:37 (UTC) ()
I was hoping you'd weigh in on this. Since, after all, despite what the Church thinks, the Ten Commandments aren't Catholic to start with, they're Jewish.

Now the question is this: How does one say, "Your Grace, you have your head up your arse" in Hebrew? *g*
One damn minute, Admiral.
trempnvt at 2003-11-13 23:02 (UTC) ()
*g*

I don't think they use the term "Your Grace" in Hebrew--the closest I can think of is "Adoni"--literally, my master. And the only word I know for rear end is "toosie" (lit. "tushy"), which is from my once-a-week volunteering in a day care. I don't think it would have quite the same effect, do you?
try to catch the deluge in a paper cup
primroseburrows at 2003-11-14 05:37 (UTC) ()
"Your Grace, you are indeed a toosie of the highest order."

That'll do.
peacey at 2003-11-13 03:47 (UTC) ()
I am currently quite put out at the Earthly leaders of my religion. I'm coming a bit late to the party it seems, but I just recently discovered that in ancient times they *changed* the makeup of the Bible to solidify their own power. Wha???? Huh??? Leaves quite a sour taste in the mouth. Also found out that most of symbiology of the rituals of Catholic mass are rooted in pagan celebrations. In ANY organized religion, it's all about power. Politics is as much of the game there as in any form of government. The more I learn, the more I drift away from organized religion and find that the worship and adoration I hold in my own heart for God and Jesus is the purest form of faith there is. The house of God is not a church of brick or stone, but the temple of one's own heart. Trust in that, my friends, and not in the organized church and you'll not go wrong.

try to catch the deluge in a paper cup
primroseburrows at 2003-11-13 05:40 (UTC) ()
The more I learn, the more I drift away from organized religion and find that the worship and adoration I hold in my own heart for God and Jesus is the purest form of faith there is. The house of God is not a church of brick or stone, but the temple of one's own heart. Trust in that, my friends, and not in the organized church and you'll not go wrong.

Yep. I've come to like Jesus a lot more since I left Christianity behind. I can now focus on what Jesus taught, and not what his followers want me to think he taught. What did he teach, you ask? Peace and Love, baybee. And that it's okay to get pissed off if your house of worship has become a den of thieves.
peacey at 2003-11-13 05:48 (UTC) ()
You have to love a guy who loves you so much that he dies for you, no?
try to catch the deluge in a paper cup
primroseburrows at 2003-11-14 05:38 (UTC) ()
Yeah. I'm a fan of Jesus. *g* I always say that if he came back today he'd look around and say, "They think I meant WHAT?" and be very, very upset.
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